Welcome to 2013

New years seem so fresh and clean. I always want to begin all sorts of new projects, resolve all sorts of wonderful things, and jump in with abandon. About eleven hours in, I am faced with the stark reality that only the calendar is under the impression that something new has begun. I am still me, my life is still what it was when I went to sleep last night. And there's a comforting familiarity in that sameness. My loving husband and kids are here, my cozy (though messy) home still stands, my love of reading, triathlons, and cookies hasn't changed, and my Savior's grace will never falter.

So why make resolutions? Why try to change things that are wonderful and comfortable and working? For me, it has to do with the proverbial balance between having roots and wings. Roots are the foundations, routines, traditions, rituals, relationships that I count on. Wings are the flights of fancy, imagination, floating on new breezes, trying new adventures or perhaps literal new places. We all fall somewhere on the spectrum between those two things in terms of which one we value more, but it certainly seems that we all do value both. And we need both.

I like to think of myself as a lover of change. I've had enough of it in my life that I ought to be a big fan by now. But courage is required to let go of the roots once in a while and try out the wings. I'm a cautious person, and that's okay. It's a good thing, really, unless I let caution become fear. Fear of failure or of being uncomfortable or of making a bad choice.

Today I'm deciding that this, 2013, will be my year of living thoughtfully. I want to pay attention to life happening around me and be intentional about how I live and speak and act. I want to live each day as the gift that it is, growing and loving well and learning. I want to record what I see, what I learn, what I'm thankful for, what affects me, what I feel, what is pushing me to become the woman God created me to be. This year I want to do more than tread water and let life's waves wash over me. I want to swim purposefully, even if I must correct course often.